A Conservative

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Bolton Hall

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A Conservative.

"You are making no progress," said the Albatross to the North Pole, "follow me."

"If I follow you," said the North Pole, "I will be an east pole. I would rather be a tent pole."

"Then go the opposite way, you're not much use here," said the Albatross.

"Then I will be a west pole," said the North Pole, "I'd rather be a barber pole."

"Well, grow up," said the Albatross as it flew to the south (for there was no other way to fly), " then you will be more north than ever."

But the North Pole was afraid of going wrong. So it stuck right in its place—but it got nowhere.

  • Bolton Hall, “A Conservative,” The Independent 53, no. 2734 (April 25, 1901): 950.