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"You are making no progress," said the Albatross to the North Pole, "follow me."
"If I follow you," said the North Pole, "I will be an east pole. I would rather be a tent pole."
"Then go the opposite way, you're not much use here," said the Albatross.
"Then I will be a west pole," said the North Pole, "I'd rather be a barber pole."
"Well, grow up," said the Albatross as it flew to the south (for there was no other way to fly), " then you will be more north than ever."
But the North Pole was afraid of going wrong. So it stuck right in its place—but it got nowhere.
- Bolton Hall, “A Conservative,” The Independent 53, no. 2734 (April 25, 1901): 950.