An Appeal to Force

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Bolton Hall

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Bolton Hall. "An Appeal to Force."

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Text

A MISSIONARY went to enlighten the Cannibals; but the Chiefs said that it was the natural condition of common people to be eaten by their rulers; and would not listen at all. The Priests said that his doctrines were contrary to the Sacred Books, and that the Gods would reward those who were eaten. Therefore, the missionary turned to the poor.

Then the officials of the tribe called him a demagogue and a foreigner; and their party, with a political club, rebuked him at the polls.

The Commercial Savages said, "We eat our neighbour, as he would eat us," which is the Golden Rule of trade.

The Devout Men of the age said that there was over-population, and that the divine intent was that the surplus should be eaten.

The Philosophers explained that the sages of old had always been man-eaters. They showed, also, that the strong and intelligent must eat the weak and stupid; for this was the law of progress.

The Orthodox Cannibals said, "Men are black and good for nothing, but they are foreordained to be served on toast."

The Privileged Classes said that it was rank dishonesty to deprive the poor widow and the orphan of their means of subsistence. They clearly showed that to allow the rabble to be uneaten would be to overturn Society.

The Missionary insisted, nevertheless, that men should not be eaten. The rulers called him an Anarchist and a Bryanite, and ate him, too.

But next year two missionaries came.