To Satisfy The Hungry Man
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A FEUDAL Lord had a big Teutonic Serf. The Teuton was dissatisfied. He said he would like more comfort and less abuse. "But," said his owner, "your miseries are due to intemperance. What you need is a high license." "Well," said the Serf, "let us try it." His condition did not improve. Then said the Serf, "I need more privileges." "Not at all," said the Feudal Lord. "Your wretched condition is due to drink: what you now need is prohibition." Said the Serf, "That should be enough." His case seemed worse than ever. "I want less oppressive taxes," said the fellow." Not you," returned the Master." What you lack is a system of indoor and outdoor relief." Said the Teuton, "I will try poor relief." And he became yet more miserable.
"I get too little of what I produce," said the Serf again. "Nonsense!" replied his Lord. "You have too many children: you require well-organised charity." "Perhaps that might suffice," said the Serf. But his state became more pitiable still. And the Land Lord remarked: "The Aryan races pay too much for food. My government experts will show it," said he. "I demand more liberty," said the Serf." You can choose your own overseer," said the Landowner." I should govern myself," said the fellow. "Oh no," said the Lord. "You should buy a patent cook-stove, and save the swill." The life of the Teuton grew harder and harder.
"I am going to have co-operation." "Dear me! " said the Land Lord. "Take universal suffrage instead." The Serf grew poorer and shabbier." Give me a better currency," said he.
"It is time," said the Land Lord, to resist these demands." And he lied to the Serf, and wheedled him out of his purpose. The Serf asked for just taxation. The Land Lord said, "Let us try to satisfy him with government ownership of water and light. "
The Slave grew hungrier still. "I must take the land," said he. "What you must have," said the Land Lord, as he got up a scare of war, "is an increased army and a strong government."
"I will have your head," said the Man.